Time and time again when I check my social media, I see cisgender, white, heterosexual authors saying things to authors along the lines of,
“Your excuses don’t matter. Nobody wants to hear your whining.”
“Quit making up reasons for not writing. Sacrifice yourself for art.”
“Do more. You’re slacking. If you want to write you need to put in the blood, sweat, and tears.”
“Your excuses are not interesting. Your fear is not valuable. Your doubt is killing you. Hold your nose and dive the fuck in.”
When did I crash land on planet asshole, exactly? I’d like to leave.
Excuses to some people are actually valuable time to recharge for others. What looks like, “Excuses.” to you means someone leaving one job, coming home, and starting the work for another one. If I watch an episode of a show to let my brain relax instead of instantly jumping into drafting another book, perhaps try considering how physically and emotionally exhausting it is to not only have to present as neurotypical on a daily basis at a high-pressure job, but to have to present as a gender that I do not identify with for my safety. It leaves you raw, drained, and utterly without reserves. If I were able to recapture the feeling in an image, it would be the ‘low battery’ symbol.
I shouldn’t have to validate how I spend my very limited free time to people making $50,000 more a year than I am, that don’t live in poverty, aren’t trans, and aren’t queer. Try living on $10,000 a year while in my situation. You wouldn’t be preaching to me and so many other marginalized writers about, “Excuses.” then. “According to the National Transgender Discrimination Survey, transgender people are four times as likely to have a household income under $10,000 and twice as likely to be unemployed as the typical person in the U.S.” I highly doubt that the people saying these things have lived in poverty, or realize their immense amounts of privilege.
Fear, in my case–is very, very valid. Given last week where I was misgendered and mocked by a very popular “diverse” (who names these cishet white people as diversity spokespeople? I’d like to have a word with them.) author–even moreso. I live every day in fear of being misgendered, outed, murdered, stalked–the list goes on. Cishet people don’t experience half of the fear that trans and queer people do. Social justice and taking a stand against transphobia is becoming more common–which I am fortunate to have in my own life. I have many friends that stood up for me over the last weekend, and I am very grateful for that.
Telling people to, “Pick themselves up by the bootstraps.” is privileged. Saying that people cannot have fear, doubt, or just plain not want to write for a day or two is not helpful. That doesn’t make people want to write books. I know it doesn’t make me want to write them. I know we’re all supposed to be blessed by the fountain of cishet white wisdom bestowed upon us, but mostly it just makes me depressed.
Don’t tell people they need to do things exactly like you or they, “Don’t want it bad enough.” it’s not okay. Ever.
Words, unencumbered words. 